


YOU ARE IN A MAZE

by firecat



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Colossal Cave Adventure, Pinky and the Brain
Genre: Cannibalism (sort of), Caves, Gen, Labyrinth - Freeform, Mice, Monsters, PLUGH, Peanut Butter, maze, virgins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecat/pseuds/firecat
Summary: Pinky & the Brain are caught in a labyrinth of twisty little passages, all alike. There might be a Minotaur here.
Relationships: Ariadne/Theseus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Brain & Pinky (Animaniacs)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	YOU ARE IN A MAZE

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't _particularly_ trying to enter the running for the weirdest combination of fandoms ever, but...
> 
> Implied character death(s), offscreen violence
> 
> Written for Froday 100th special, prompts (47) mythology & (93) lost in a maze

PINKY: Brain, where are we?  
BRAIN: I don’t know, Pinky. It appears that we are in a cavern with many twisty passages.  
PINKY: Are they all exactly alike, or different?  
BRAIN: I don’t have a map, do I, Pinky?  
PINKY: What is that snuffling noise, Brain?  
BRAIN: How should I know, Pinky? I haven’t been in this cavern before.  
PINKY: Brain, do you think it’s a maze?  
BRAIN: Nonsense, Pinky. We graduated from maze-running a long time ago. We’re in the “trying to take over the world” stage of the experiment now.  
PINKY: But I smell peanut butter, Brain.  
BRAIN: That’s because you have peanut butter in your head instead of gray matter, Pinky.  
PINKY: Oh that’s good, Brain. If we start starving in this maze, you can put me in a sandwich and eat me. Oh, except we don’t have any jelly. Or bread. Snarf. PLUGH.  
BRAIN: What happened!?  
PINKY:I don’t know, Brain, but we’re in a kitchen and I see a jar of jelly here. And a trap door.  
BRAIN: That’s the trap door we already went through, Pinky. Let’s go through it again.  
…  
BRAIN: These twisty passages are all alike!  
PINKY: Too bad we already ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Brain, if we hadn’t, we could have smeared peanut butter on the walls to mark our trail.  
BRAIN: There’s that snuffling noise again, Pinky, we’d better be careful.  
PINKY: Why? We already scared a snake with a bird and killed a dragon with our bare hands. What else could be here to scare us? Blort. Xyzzy.  
BRAIN: What? Who are you?  
THESEUS: I am Theseus. I seek the Minotaur.  
BRAIN: The miniature? Miniature what?  
THESEUS: Minotaur. The bull-headed man that eats virgins. This is the labyrinth he lives in. I am sent to kill him.  
PINKY: Just kill him with your bare hands. Zartz.  
BRAIN: Is that the snuffling noise we heard?  
THESEUS: I believe so. This way.  
BRAIN: Wait, Pinky. Why should we follow him? That way lies violence and death!  
PINKY: Do they taste good with peanut butter?  
THESEUS: Just wait here.  
…  
PINKY: Listen to all those screams, Brain. He probably tried to use the sword instead of his bare hands.  
BRAIN: Ugh the sound of chewing is too much! And now the snuffling is coming this way!  
PINKY: There he is, Brain! It’s not only the _head_ of a bull that he has, is it?  
BRAIN: Pinky! Did you say that only to justify the Teen rating on this fic?  
PINKY: What? Oh no, Brain, he saw us!  
BRAIN: Oh, why did we throw the bear at the troll. We could have used it now. Run!  
PINKY: He’s ignoring us, Brain. He’s lying down and going to sleep.  
BRAIN: What? I heard him mumbling something.  
PINKY: He said “Mice. Never mind. They don’t taste good. Also, they’re not virgins.”  
BRAIN: That snoring is deafening! How do we get out of here? Try saying PLUGH again, Pinky.  
PINKY: Plort  
BRAIN: Not plort. PLUGH.  
PINKY: Zotz...PLUGH.  
BRAIN: Damn, it’s not working.  
FEMALE VOICE: Theseus? Theseus!  
BRAIN: Who the hell’s that?  
FEMALE VOICE: Eek, mice!  
BRAIN: And hello to you too, Miss. What is your name? Are you friend or foe?  
ARIADNE: My name is Ariadne, and that depends on if you know where Theseus...eeek!  
BRAIN: Yes, you already said that.  
ARIADNE: M-m-m-Minotaur!  
BRAIN: Yes, and his snoring is driving us spare.  
ARIADNE: B-b-but...  
BRAIN: He’s apparently eaten all the virgins he needs for this year and he’s sound asleep.  
ARIADNE: Theseus?  
BRAIN: I’m afraid so.  
ARIADNE: _[weeping]_  
BRAIN: Pinky? Where did that handkerchief come from? It’s bigger than you are!  
PINKY: This ‘inventory’ has amazing storage, Brain. Zart.  
BRAIN: We would appreciate an escort out of here, Miss.  
ARIADNE: Just follow this thread.  
BRAIN: What will you do?  
ARIADNE: There is a sleeping Minotaur here. There is a Minotaur-killing sword here. My inventory contains a deep desire for revenge. What do you think I’m going to do?  
BRAIN: All right, Miss, but remember that if you don’t make it all the way to the peanut butter, they’ll require you to run the maze again.  
PINKY: Blort!


End file.
